1. Do not kill yourself. Killing yourself is very messy and your mother will cry over you. It is not beautiful or brave, and even if it was, you will not be around to see that.

2. Washing your hair is going to be a chore. But you should do it anyway. Because you will feel better about yourself.

3. Get up late. Have a lay in. Sleep past your alarm. You have a very long life ahead of you and for now you should appreciate the cold side of your pillow.

4. He is going to break your heart but he’s just another male human who finds it hard to deal with Mondays, too. So in a month you’ll wake up and you won’t even remember that little scar on his knuckle you kissed.

5. Don’t spend hours looking up what your name means on google. Your name is your name and you should go out there and do heroic and good deeds and give your name your own meaning.

6. Don’t fight your demons. Your demons are here to teach you lessons. Sit down with your demons and have a drink and a chat and learn their names and talk about the burns on their fingers and scratches on their ankles. Some of them are very nice.

7. Music is good for your soul. Rap music will energise you and boost your ego and pop music will cheer you up. Indie music will make you think and emotional songs will make you cry and think about that boy again. It’s healthy.

8. Victim complexes are not attractive. Boys and girls will not date you because you are sad. They are not going to date you and kiss your aching bones and cure you of your dragging depression. Wake up. Take a bath. Do your hair. Be attractive.

9. Sadness is not poetic. Depression is not beautiful. Laying in bed all day and eating too much is lazy and disgusting and it is not tragic or pretty. Get up. Go outside. Let the sun warm your bones. Live.

10. If it makes you happy, buy twenty of it. Dedicate your life to it. Print it on tv shirts and collect things and draw art of it. Do not care what people think. They are the unhappy people you need to avoid. The abuse they will hurl at you is painless compared to how sad they are. Pity them. Remain happy.

11. You are allowed to be angry. But the world is not working against you. The flowers do not bloom for you and when your mother shouts ask her if she is okay instead of thinking she hates you. She never will. The world walks beside you and is silent. It does not trip you up or carry you.

12. Day and night cycles are natural. Humans only sleep at night because we used to avoid predators in the dark because of our poor eyesight. Stay awake until 5am watching bad reality shows. Wake up at 7pm and have breakfast.

13. Eat when you are hungry. Being bored does not constitute a chocolate bar. Sleep with you are tired. Do not mindlessly obey the sleep at night rule. If you are not tired, do not sleep.

Lapfoxs 

Everyone needs this on their blog. 

(via psychedelicrealist)

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  1. faking confidence is the first step to real confidence
  2. not everyone is going to like you and that’s okay
  3. your friends will like you a lot more if you’re honest and upfront
  4. you don’t have to get out of bed every day
  5. it’s okay to cry
  6. ask yourself what’ve you got to lose when you can’t make a decision
  7. some people are just bad people, don’t try to change them
  8. 99% of problems can be fixed if you speak to the person you have a problem with
  9. if you love someone, tell them
  10. the first few people you think of when you say “no one cares” are the people who care the most
things I wish I knew sooner  (via internetexplorers)
9:38 PM 17744 reblog
ifpaintingscouldtext:

Rene Magritte | The Lovers | 1928
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men: women who wear makeup are just lying to us
men: it's 8 inches
9:37 PM 132678 reblog

Probably the whole dating a goalie thing
Ugh

8:59 PM 0 reblog

Sad goalies make me sad

8:58 PM 0 reblog

croatoanlives:

thechronicferuchemist:

Uterus, I do not understand your need to have a baby. We cannot afford a baby. I do not want a baby. Hell you wouldn’t even be happy if we had a baby. I find these temper tantrums you throw every month we don’t have a baby absolutely unacceptable.

uterus, stop being a baby

8:35 PM 35781 reblog

msjewbooty:

i love to use phrases such as “well i’ll be” and “would ya look at that” because in all seriousness i thoroughly enjoy sounding like an astonished elderly southern man

8:34 PM 49895 reblog
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Female Palestinian protesters are seen during clashes at the entrance of the Israeli Ofer military prison in Ramallah, West Bank on October 21, 2014, following a protest against the entry of settlers to the al-Aqsa mosque compound in Jerusalem. (Issam Rimawi/Getty Images)
Tue / 171 / reblog

spoopybarakarts:

when my mom was 30ish, my dad took her to this garage band concert as a date and she really liked them so she bought a cd from them and talked to them for a few hours then promised to keep in touch with them and show everyone her cd, but later forgot. So 10 or so years later theyre on the radio and she just smacks her head then says, “fuck i forgot to show everyone the cd” and that is the story of how my mom let Adam Levine and the rest of Maroon 5 down.

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